Day 17: Don't even THINK of bringing that food in my house...

...unless you're trying to get on my good side.

I love food.

And I love good food.

I plan vacations around how many meals I can work into the itinerary. I don't get to eat out as often as I used to, so when I do, I enjoy nicer restaurants.

Even if we're out at a party, or a restaurant, I'll have Mr. KK taste something first. 

"Is it worth my calories?" I'll ask him. Nine times out of ten, it isn't.

But there are a few foods, that aren't fancy or special, that break all food rules. Those foods that are so delicious to me, that I just.can't.stop.eating.them.

In no particular order:

1. Stew Leonard's chicken salad. There's a specialty grocery store in CT (and some areas of NY) that makes the most amazing chicken salad. What starts as a small schmear on a cracker, slowly turns into forkfuls until I'm scraping the sides of the empty container. It's shameful.

2. Doritos. We're talking good old classic Nacho Cheese here; none of that 'Jacked' or 'Taco' or 'Supreme' crap. (And don't even get me started on 'Cool Ranch'. It's like the New Coke of Doritos). I LOVE Doritos. And I eat them systematically: first, I find all the chips with the MOST cheddar dust on them and eat those first. Next, I will eat the ones that are full triangles (in descending order from most cheese to least cheese). Then, I will eat the non-triangle chips. Lastly, lick my fingers and press them into the crumbs to pick them up. The result may be orange fingers for 3 days, but it's SO worth it.

3. Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cookie Core Ice Cream. I'm not a sweets eater, but I LOVE ice cream. And this ice cream? It's like frozen crack. I discovered it this past summer on our beach vacation on a fluke. I bought the container to share with Mr. KK, however I'm pretty sure he didn't see more than 3 spoonfuls. If you haven't had this ice cream, you haven't had ice cream. It's THAT amazing.

4. Cape Cod White Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips. If I could marry Cape Cod potato chips, I would. I love potato chips. But not all potato chips. There are potato chip varieties that I don't love (I'm talking about you, greasy Lay's and weird Wise). But Cape Cod chips are the perfect mix of crunch and salt and flavor. I could eat them for every meal.

5. Cheese. There are few cheeses I've met that I don't like. Bring cheese to my house, and you get invited in. Bring one of these three and you get the good beer: Manchego, a nutty aged Gouda or Parmesan, and creamy brie (bonus points for triple heart attack cream).

There you have it. The foods that could cause my shame eating. Or hiding the empty containers at the bottom of the trash. Or permanent orange finger tips.

Day 16: Proud Mom Moment

Setting: dinnertime. My 2-year-old is sitting at the dinner table eating. He is alternating lifting one cheek than the other off his booster seat.

AUDIO: Brrrrppppppt!

Me to Max: "What was that sound?"

Max:  "I farted."

Day 15: Halfway and a Crappy Day

Alt title to this post: #firstworldproblems

First off, it's the halfway point for NaBloPoMo. Hopefully you aren't sick of me yet!

While I can't always find the time during the year to blog, I love making time each day to post during this month, it's rather refreshing!

My life isn't all that exciting, but I try and write posts that paint a picture, or share something I've learned or discovered.

But some days, you just need to post about random things. That's today.

Today was a crappy day.

I woke up and did what most control-freak-workaholics do and checked my phone, only to discover an email from my health insurance asking for verification for something that I had verified a month ago. And they were threatening me, which isn't something that happens every day at 5:30am.

Good start to the day!

On to the commute in to work. A while back I started listening to audio books (once Serial ended, I needed something to occupy my mind!). I actually "take them out" from the local library, where they have electronic copies of books you can listen to on your phone. It's awesome. The book I've been listening to was a long one, and I was finally in the home stretch. When I clicked on my book to start, I was met with a message that said: "Your book has expired". So...I'll never find out where the missing woman is??? WTH?

Work was work, where my meetings had meetings. Clients annoyed me. And it rained. A lot.

Then, the commute home. I thought I had out-smarted fate, since I re-downloaded my audio book and was ready to listen to the last 20%. Joke was on me, though, because the highway was CLOSED. And while I felt terrible that an accident was that bad to close the road, I found myself sitting in the exact same spot for over an hour. My ride home took 2.5 hours. I did get to listen to my audio book, though, even though I still didn't finish (how long is this book??).

But the bright spot in my day, was making it home to put my little munchkin to bed. And knowing, that after the horrible day that I had, he had a GREAT day, filled with smiles and fun. With a kitchen and living room to prove it:

And that made everything all better.

Day 14: My Love/Hate Relationship with Technology

One of my favorite "Modern Family" episodes is the one when it's Phil's birthday and all he wants is to get in line early for the release of the new Apple iPad. He tries to explain the importance of getting the iPad on the very first day, and what it means to be an early adopter. After sitcom shenanigans, Phil gets the iPad. His wife doesn't understand.

In this scenario, I'm his wife.

And I love this episode because it's true: early adopters are passionate about technology.

I, however, do not fall into this category.

And while staying up-to-date on technology and what's going on in the world is part of my job as a marketer, it's not something by which I live.

Two examples:

ONE: back in September, we were in the middle of a HUGE project at work. We were a week out from the deadline, and it was the last big push to get ourselves over the finish line. We had been working nights and weekends, and this upcoming weekend was no different. 

That Friday morning, my laptop died. It just...died. So, they ended up giving me a new computer.

Hey, who doesn't want a new computer, right?

Um...ME.

Because it was like starting from scratch on my life. On my old computer, all of my passwords were saved in my favorite websites. Now, I had to relearn (and eventually, reset) them all. My mail looked weird. The new operating system was different. My mouse pad was set to scroll up and not down. It made weird noises for alerts. It was like someone took away my best friend, shoved a total stranger in front of me and said: "Now THIS is your new best friend. And she knows nothing about you. Good luck!"

(Also, they were never able to recover anything from my old computer. Seriously, you'd think one of these days I would learn to back my shit up somewhere)

TWO: I have needed a new phone for at least a year. For a variety of reasons (time being a big one), it was put off. Yesterday, however, I bit the bullet and went to the Sprint store. 

I was both looking forward to – and dreading – getting a new phone. I wanted it to be a month after I had my phone, after the "getting to know you" phase, but while we were still smitten with each other.

But I live in the real world, and I know that when you walk out of a store with a phone that is 2 numbers past the last phone you had, there's going to need to be an adjustment.

So that was my life yesterday. 
And today. 
And most likely tomorrow.

Technological growing pains.

Looking for my photos.
Screaming when my phone wouldn't connect to my computer (still won't!)
Organizing my screens and creating folders for my apps.
Trying to remember passwords.
Setting up bluetooth in my car.
Downloading my kindle books.
Wondering why half my contacts didn't sync.
Hearing weird alerts.

This is why I'm not an early adopter. Because I'd have to go through this stress more often. 

I like for things to be out a while, so companies can work out all the kinks. 

And it's why I love working with millennials, because they can fix anything.

Day 13: How to Hang Wallpaper and Stay Married.

Earlier this year, we wrapped up our very long home renovation.

We had turned our garage into a family room. A room where Mr. KK and I could relax, watch TV, have cocktails and sit by the fire. This room was a Max-free zone. This didn't mean Max couldn't be in the room, however, his toys needed to stay OUT.

Until recently, this big room pretty much housed a couch. Then shortly after I found a secretary for our keys, cell phone chargers, etc. In September I found am amazing coffee table and end table for a great price. And just last weekend I scored a rustic side board with a rolling barn door at HomeGoods that was helped make a very blank wall feel very homey.

Part of our renovation included built-ins along the front wall, and a built-in bookcase. I love me some built-ins!

Inspired by HGTV, I decided that the back of our built-in bookcase must have wallpaper.

I know wallpaper can be a nightmare (and I watch enough TV and people trying to remove it), so I opted for the peel and stick variety. I found one I liked on Etsy, and was even able to customize the colors.

It took about 6 weeks to get here, because I seemed to overlook the fact that it was coming from Latvia. (Geography = not my strong suit)

Today's nap time was going to entail putting up the wallpaper.

Do you do home improvement projects with your spouse? Well, we do them often. To be successful, you must be very aware of what each other's strengths and weaknesses are.

We used that strategy today.

Here were the criteria:

Mr. KK's strengths: measuring, cutting, building, hammering, screw gunning, sanding, lifting, constructing

KK's strengths: painting, reading directions, holding things, creative vision

So putting up wallpaper fell under my camp because:

1. It was my project, and if it got screwed up, I would have no one to blame but myself and 

2. I have more patience

And so the project began...

My beautiful wall paper! 

Our bookcase BEFORE

Our bookcase AFTER

Aside from some measuring, this was all ME.

The tricky part was, that the wallpaper wasn't wide enough to fit across the bookcase so we had to cut and line up the pattern, all while making sure there were no wrinkles.

If I had to do a whole wall, I'd probably shoot myself.

But look how awesome that looks!

Day 12: My Celebrity Doppelgänger strikes.

I worked with an amazing group of people in Boston a hundred years ago in retail advertising.

We had a conference room called the "Wall Room", that was pretty much a room with four walls where you could hang up ads and pages of direct mail catalogs that you were working on to be critiqued. And in the middle of the room was a huge round table. 

Every day, a group of us would eat our lunch at that table, gossiping, talking about the TV shows we watched the night before, and just having fun.

We used to play this game, where we would go around the table and figure out which celebrity would play each of us if we were to make "Filene's The Movie".

My celebrity doppelgänger: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, aka: Elaine Benes from Seinfeld.

It was the late 90s, and Seinfeld was in its heyday. I even used to imitate her signage push and "GET OUT!" that she would do to Jerry.

And not only did I resemble her, we shared common mannerisms and a general impatience for 90% of the population.

Fast-forward 15 years.

And in what I can only assume was the biggest coincidence on the planet, look at what I got in the mail this week:

Elaine worked for J. Peterman on the show! She was a writer for the catalog. 

It's like we're kindred spirits.

Now, for a while I thought the catalog was completely made up, and it wasn't until after the show ended that I realized that J. Peterman was a real person.

And that that many people are still clambering for the Urban Sombrero.

Day 11: Long Live Nap Time!

Every since Max was born, he’s been a fantastic sleeper.

On our 11-state tour home from the hospital in Georgia, Max slept for 4-hour stretches. At 3 months old, he started sleeping through the night. And even now, he sleeps for 10-11 hours each night.

Don’t be hatin’.

I know how lucky we are.

But the best part about having a great sleeper? NAP TIME.

Even with his marathon night's sleep, Max still takes a 3-hour nap in the afternoons.

I know.

I call this small window “Mommy Time”.

I cook.

I fold laundry.

I read.

I put dishes away.

I write.

I relax.

I pay bills.

I drink wine.

And ONCE, I napped when Max napped. It was a few months ago and was the first time since he was born.

There are those days, though not often, that Max doesn’t want to nap.

And this REALLY messes with Mommy Time. Because now we have a cranky kid (lack of sleep) and a cranky Mommy (lack of getting shit done).

When this happens, I leave Max in his crib, because even if he doesn’t want to sleep, he can rest, right?

Max “resting” looks like this:

Standing in the crib calling, “Mommy! Come Back!” for 20 minutes

Moving his stuffed animals from one side of the crib to the other

Holding onto the railing and jumping like he's on a trampoline

Knocking on the wall

Throwing his stuffed animals out of the crib

Looking at his animals on the floor and calling them by name

Singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and “Happy Birthday” 

Opening his bedroom door and slamming it shut

Banging his feet on the wall

Sticking his hand down the back of his diaper…AND…nap time’s over.

I will take advantage of nap time for as long as we can. Yes, it somewhat chains us to the house on weekend afternoons. BUT, it makes for a happy baby.

And Mommy can do some cooking, writing, and laundry.

And, if nothing else, she can relax with a glass of wine.