When Mr. KK was little, he would go to Friendly's with his mother. They would sit at the stools at the counter and order ice cream. Naturally, any child's first instinct was to spin around in the stools.
Mr. KK's mother would point to the menu of ice cream flavors and tell him, "'I would let you spin in your chair, BUT it says right here that children are not allowed to spin on stools. I'm sorry'."
Luckily, Mr. KK was too young to read, so he believed what his mother told him. Sucker.
Before you have children, you like to think you'll never lie to them. I told myself that. I believed I'd always be upfront and honest. Tell them how it is. But then, you're in the middle of a crowded parking lot and your toddler is screaming and won't get into his car seat, and he's causing a scene. And you have no choice but to tell him about the parking lot police who patrol the parking lot for boys who don't get get buckled into their car seats.
It's nice to think you won't lie to your child. But then, you are only lying to yourself. Because if you don't lie to your child, you will never survive Toddlerhood.
(And by lie, I mean small untruths, naturally)
On any given day, I tell Little Mister at least 100 lies. it's how we get through the day. And every single one of them is for his own good.
It goes something like this:
In the grocery store. "If you don't sit in the seat in the carriage, the store manager is going to come by. If he sees you trying to get out and being unsafe, he's going to yell at you and put you in time out."
In the car. "If we don't buckle your car seat then the car won't start. Then we can't get home to eat lunch."
At home. "I wish I could give you more ketchup, but we can only eat a certain amount of ketchup a day so we don't run out."
Before lunch. "Let's go wash our hands. If we don't, the clean hands fairy will look at them and if they are too dirty she will eat your sandwich."
Before bed. "We can't have a cookie right now. Do you see the big clock? We missed cookie eating time. It's too late now. Maybe tomorrow."
I'm a big believer in the little white survival lies.
I think they build character.
Hopefully in a few years when Little Mister is old enough to catch on, he thinks so too.