Wednesday, March 8, 2017

What if I went on strike?

I am the least political person on the planet.

I don’t feed into the President bashing on social media. I avoid heated debates at work. And I didn’t join the women’s march that happened in so many cities after the election.

But today is International Women’s Day, and – more importantly – the “Day Without a Woman Strike”, so I felt it appropriate to dust off my feminist ways and say something.

The significance of today, is that women who are able to remove themselves from work and the economy today should do so. This means: skipping work, not shopping, and leaving household and childcare duties up to the men in their lives.

This is amazing if this happens. Such a powerful statement. 

Does this mean I can just get up from my desk and leave right now??

This got me thinking: my job aside, what would happen if I skipped out on my duties at home? My husband and I take a "sharing is caring" approach to our lives. But there are certain things that are my “jobs”; duties and tasks that I just take care or, or it’s assumed I will just take care of. Same goes for my husband; he has his own unspoken “to do” list that gets us through our daily lives.

So what would happen if we both went on strike. And just for ha-has, our strikes wouldn’t just be for a day, but instead lasted for a whole month.

Our lives would look something like this:

If I went on strike every day for a month:

  • Family members and friends would not receive cards or gifts for milestones
  • In fact, we’d miss every party, since we would never open the invitation, let alone RSVP
  • Laundry would only be done on a “immediate need” basis; meaning, “I immediately need underwear because there are no clean pairs in the drawer"
  • My husband would be late for work every day because his “alarm” (aka: ME) didn’t wake him up
  • No planned grocery trips and weekly meals = more take out

If my husband went on strike every day for a month:

  • We’d have 30 days of trash piled up
  • We’d live with burnt-out light bulbs all over the house
  • We’d never have a warm fire on a cold day
  • Max would by stuck at daycare, and we’d be stuck with late pick-up fees
  • Dust bunnies would take over our house
  • Our lawn, garden and yard would turn into an overgrown jungle

I'm proud the women who are standing up for their beliefs, and doing what they can do today.

But for my house, I'd like it very much if we didn't go on strike. Mama needs her suds.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Day 30: "The Best Of" Edition

Well, I made it.

30 posts in 30 days.

And in those 30 days, the following happened:
- I spent a weekend away
- I hosted Thanksgiving
- I had the flu for 5 days

If you read one post, if you read 29 posts...thank you.

To commemorate the end of 30 days of NaBloPoMo, I usually post something poignant on this last day. 

Two years ago, I wrote about my 10-Year Cancerversary.

Last year, I shared what I hope will be the prologue to my novel.

(click the links to read those posts)

This year, I thought I would share links to some of my favorite posts, sort of a like my compilation album.

On why I prefer Target to Walmart: read it here.

On my animal hoarding neighbor and duck rape: read it here.

On my love/hate relationship with technology: read it here.

On my marriage into a fruitcake family: read it here.

And the joy of 4 stockings: read it here.

Happy reading!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Day 29: Please excuse my barefoot child.

My child hates shoes.

You read that right.

If my child could be barefoot his whole life, he would be happy.

He hates putting things on his feet.

Problem is...I LOVE shoes.

Like, LOOOOVE them.

When I worked in retail advertising, I would clean house during the sample shoe sales because I was the magical size 6. I would scoop up about 20 pairs of shoes for about $5 each.

It was like my Christmas.

And I couldn't wait to share my shoe love with my child.

So when Max was born, I had visions of having a son with a mad shoe game. Tiny work boots. Hipster sneakers. Little sandals with the ankle strap. Rubber wellies.

Instead, I have a child who hates shoes.

I know.

And it's not for a lack of trying. I buy this child so many pairs of shoes just hoping he will fall in love with them. (That, plus his feet are growing so fast he keeps needing bigger shoes!)

Currently, here are the shoes that were purchased in hopes that Max would wear them.*

 *This photo does not include 2 pairs of rain boots and 3 pairs of shoes already returned to Target.

And out of all those shoes, these are the only shoes that he will wear:

At least my hipster sneaker dream came true!

Every time I try and sneak on a pair of shoes that aren't his velcro Converse, he screams in protest, yelling, "Take dem aff!"

So even though it's freezing outside and these shoes are made of breathable canvas, this is what we wear every day. At least I bought them in a second color so we have a "play" pair and a "dress" pair.

So me – the self-proclaimed "little shoe princess" – has a child who hates shoes. How is this possible?

I'm not quite sure what's going to happen when it snows.

Does Converse make a velcro, waterproof boot that looks exactly like this by any chance???

Monday, November 28, 2016

Day 28: Bring on the boxes!

Alternate title: why you shouldn't shop when hopped up on meds.

In all the apartments and houses that I've lived in since graduating college (6, in case you were wondering), my mailman has hated me.

At one point in my life, I subscribed to 12 – TWELVE – magazines. Twelve heavy publications that had to be stuffed into a mail slot each month, trudged across the Boston Common, delivered during rain and snow storms.

Then, this little thing called the internet was invented, and really took off. And with it, came online shopping!

When you have boxes being delivered by large UPS and FedEx trucks, and you live on one of the most narrow streets in Southie (one that's barely on the map, and traffic isn't supposed to drive down it), you hear all sorts of colorful language, tinged with a thick Boston accent.

And then one day, Amazon was born. And following that, Amazon Prime.

If the mail/postal/delivery people didn't like me before, they certainly don't like me now.

Last year when we were renovating our family room, our contractor said to my husband, "Your wife sure gets a lot of packages delivered." Um, thanks buddy. Way to out me.

It's just so simple. Shop. Add it to your cart. Hit "purchase" (and your credit card info is saved! so easy!). And then two days later...POOF. Packages.

You've heard the phrase "Don't drink and Prime?" Well, I'd like to suggest: "Don't Prime on Meds" as a close second to that.

Today, I'm home sick. And it's Cyber Monday. And I'm armed with prescriptions. 

In between naps, I MAY have done some damage Christmas shopping.

So my point is, I blame the person who invented the internet, and then Amazon Prime, for any troubles the UPS delivery man has two days from now.

(And for the record: I'm down to only 5 magazine subscriptions right now. Not bad.)

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Day 27: Captain Obvious here: Being sick sucks.

In the midst of my crazy fall, some things fell by the wayside.

And, like most Moms, I fell to the bottom of my own list of things to do. So while I made sure Max had his flu shot, I failed to get mine.

And so...I got the flu.

On a 4-day weekend.

That's the kick-off to the holiday season.

With our annual Black Friday tradition.

And a toddler who screams, "WAKE UP!" whenever he sees someone lying down.

I feel like I was hit by an 18-wheeler, and Mr. KK was insistent that I do absolutely nothing and stay away from Max. He even told Max I had a "boo boo on my head" (which kind of makes me sound like a crazy person??) so Max keeps coming over and patting my head and kissing it. (But don't let Mr. KK see or he will put me in a plastic bubble!)

I haven't laid down this much since I was an infant.

Yesterday I felt like poop stuck to someone's shoe. Today, I feel like plain old poop that sitting in the yard; so a marginal improvement. I'm on all sorts of medications, too.

When I stand for more than 30 minutes, I am suddenly exhausted, like I just ran a marathon. Carrying Max. Uphill.

The one person who IS happy I'm sick is Vito. Because being sick means someone to lay on the couch with him all day.

My view for the last 60 hours has looked like this:

So what did I do? Well...

- I binge watched "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix. And HOLY MOLY no one with a healthy mind deserves an ending like that, let alone someone who is not at her wits. Come on, people!

- I (kind of) napped. When Max napped. Except for that day he didn't nap at all.

- I shopped online. I mainly bought myself a necklace and a pair of pants, but it's something.

- I booked a beach house for our vacation next year. Amazing the things you'll purchase when you're on meds.

- I paid the bills.

- I drank my weight in ginger ale.

- Did I mention the binge watching???

I'm good at caring for sick people, but I hate BEING the sick people. Because I have no patience and things need to get done.

But first? A NAP.

(Get your flu shot, people!)

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Day 26: kk's favorite things

Christmas is my most favorite holiday.

There's nothing I love more than finding the perfect gifts for everyone on my list. I scour websites, magazines and stores. And every year I compile a list of my favorite gifts.

1. Crate and Barrel Wood-Marble Platter. Perfect for entertaining. $29.95

2. FUJIFILM Intax Mini 8 at Because sometimes you want old school polaroid photos. $54.95

3. Game of Phones from Uncommon Goods. It's the G-rated version of Cards Against Humanity that you play with your phones, with questions like "Who has the most unread emails?" (PS: That would be ME) $20

4. Pearlized Braided Necklace from the Loft. It's a little bit chunky, a little bit rock 'n roll. And the Rose gold makes it feel very holiday-y. (In fact, I just bought this for myself today) $54.50

5. Hobnail Glass Cocktail Shakers from Anthropologie. I love the retro feel of these shakers; they remind me of my Grandmother...if she were a martini drinker. $32-$42

6. Cooking for Jeffrey by Ina Garten at Amazon. It's not secret I have a girl crush on Ina. She could publish a cookbook about toast and I would buy it. $18.99

7. Typhoon Vintage Utensil Pot at Target. This will match my orange stove perfectly. $14.99

8. Red Car Holiday Doormat at Target. I'm dreaming of a retro Christmas. $7.79

9. Pioneer Woman Traveling Vines Nesting Mixing Bowl Set at Walmart. The patterns are fantastic and each bowl comes with a lid. Perfect for mixing and storing. $24.99

Happy Shopping!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Day 25: I'm like a TV's shows worst curse.

Today marked a big day in my pop culture world: The Gilmore Girls Netflix episodes premiered!

I know, right???

I was a huge GG fan – and, by default, so was Mr. KK. And, it goes without saying, that I was devastated when the show ended. 

Here's a secret about me: whenever I like a show on TV, it gets cancelled.

My adoration is like a TV show's worst nightmare.

In case you don't believe me, here's my track record of shows I've liked that have been cancelled:

My So-Called Life. Premiered in 1994 and lasted one season.

Relativity. Premiered in 1996 and lasted one season.

Freaks and Geeks. Premiered in 1999 and lasted one season.

Ed. Premiered in 2000 and lasted four seasons.

Sons & Daughters. Premiered in 2006 and lasted one season.

Chuck. Premiered in 2007 and lasted five seasons.

Burn Notice. Premiered in 2007 and while it lasted seven seasons, I could have watched seven more.

So this post is a warning of sorts. 

If you love a TV show, don't tell me about it.