Max, keeping a low profile.
Never let them see your excitement.
Max was bundled, we had our list in hand (which consisted mostly of formula!) and we started what would be the first of MANY trips to the bullseye together.
I had something to return (of course) so we hit up the customer service line as soon as we walked in.
As we were waiting, a woman approached me.
Aaand, here we go.
She was middle aged, disheveled, and dressed in knee-high patterned rain boots, khaki shorts and see-through rain slicker (it was sunny out, btw) and sweatshirt with a picture of a cat on it, and her hair was standing on end. Honestly, she looked like she took a wrong turn and missed the exit for the OTHER big box store.
She peered into the cart at a peacefully sleeping Max.
"Cute baby," she said, staring at me.
"Thank you," I replied because, well, that's what you say, even to weirdos.
"I'll give you five dollars for him."
Did this woman just offer to buy my baby?
And is five dollars the going rate for babies these days?
(If so, we just did everything totally WRONG)
Normally I would turn on the 'tude, but this woman was creepy.
"Haha, well, he's not for sale." Understatement.
She continued to stare at me. "I bet he kept you up all night crying."
Actually, he didn't.
"No, he's a good boy."
"Oh he's a good by, huh? Just wait." She bore her spooky eyes into mine, as if casting a spell of sleepless nights upon us.
"NEXT!" the cashier called out.
I pushed ahead to the service desk, and the weirdo found someone else to harass.
Now, can we spend twice as much as we should and buy a million things we don't need in peace, please?