She has lived alone for 32 years, ever since my grandfather passed away. She's super social, and loves going out (she's just a few decades late for the Facebook craze).
I called her today to invite her over on Saturday.
ME: "Hi Gram! I was calling to see if you wanted to come over on Saturday to eat."
GRAM: "Oh? What's the occasion?"
ME: "It's the Kentucky Derby!"
Mind you, I'm not sure my grandmother even knows what the Kentucky Derby is.
GRAM: "There's no other reason?"
Apparently Gram thinks we have an ulterior motive.
ME: "We're going to watch the Kentucky Derby and then eat. You know, the horse race?"
GRAM: "Oh. How long is it?"
What, does Gram have a date?
ME: "It's like two minutes."
GRAM: (laughs a little) "Really?"
ME: "No, seriously. It's two minutes long. Then it's over."
GRAM: "Okay then. I wouldn't come if it was a long drawn out thing..."