Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Actual conversation with my grandmother.

My grandmother is a 93-year old sassy pants.

She has lived alone for 32 years, ever since my grandfather passed away. She's super social, and loves going out (she's just a few decades late for the Facebook craze).

I called her today to invite her over on Saturday.

ME: "Hi Gram! I was calling to see if you wanted to come over on Saturday to eat."

GRAM: "Oh? What's the occasion?"

ME: "It's the Kentucky Derby!" 
Mind you, I'm not sure my grandmother even knows what the Kentucky Derby is.

GRAM: "There's no other reason?"

Apparently Gram thinks we have an ulterior motive.

ME: "We're going to watch the Kentucky Derby and then eat. You know, the horse race?"

GRAM: "Oh. How long is it?"

What, does Gram have a date?

ME: "It's like two minutes."

GRAM: (laughs a little) "Really?"

ME: "No, seriously. It's two minutes long. Then it's over."

GRAM: "Okay then. I wouldn't come if it was a long drawn out thing..."


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