Monday, November 6, 2017

Day 6: The Words No Mother Wants to Hear

One night the three of us were out at a restaurant for dinner. I had my usual bag of tricks, entertaining our toddler before our dinners arrived. He was struggling to open a toy, so I naturally reached across the table to help him.

He immediately pulled the toy away from my reach.

"No, Mommy," he said. "I don't need you."

And my heart broke a little bit.

How could this little boy – my baby – not need me? 


Please stop growing up.

Growing up an only child, independence came naturally to me. 

I would entertain myself for hours playing with Barbies or Cabbage Patch dolls. I could spend an entire afternoon drawing and writing in notebooks in my room. And by the age of 8, I could hang with the adult set with the grace of a college graduate.

Now that I'm raising an only child, I'm watching this little person come into his own. And each and every day, I'm in awe of something new that he does or says.

He wants to take off his pajamas on his own. He wants to dress himself. He wants to strap himself into his car seat. And all of this is awesome, if we had 6 hours to get ready in the morning and leave the house.

I understand that he needed to grow and learn, but selfishly, I wanted to freeze time to these moments when my little boy wanted his Mommy.

I want him to never stop asking for me to wake him up in the morning, when we play our little game where I cover him in stuffed animals and pretend to look for him. 

I want him to always answer the question "Who's your best friend?", with "Mommy".

I want my toddler, who will pretty soon be too big for me to lift, to still want me to carry him, so he can wrap his body around me like a little spider monkey and bury his face in my neck.

I don't know if I can handle it if he doesn't need me anymore.

Because I still need him.



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