Wednesday, December 17, 2014

This post is about poop.

(WARNING: this post contains graphic material)

Between having a baby, and having a dog, a good portion of the conversation in our house revolves around poop.

Poop frequency, poop color, poop consistency, poop size.

Honestly, I'm pooped talking about poop.

But the big news in the house – in regards to poop – was that Max hadn't pooped for four days.

That meant four days worth of poop backed up and waiting to make an exit.

So last night, Mr. KK decided to take research into his own hands and used our friend Google to check in on babies not pooping for 4 days.

KK:  "What are you listening to?"

MR. KK:  "A video about a baby who hasn't pooped."

KK:  "And?"

MR. KK:  "The doctor says massaging the baby's stomach helps. That's where the colon is."

KK:  "You want me to massage our baby's colon?"

MR. KK:  "And do bicycle legs with him. It helps get things moving."

Cut to this morning.

Max and I start our usual morning routine. I break him free of his straight jacket, and we sing the 'Stretch! Stretch! Stretch!' song while he loosens up his arms and legs.

OMG, look at those thighs! Purely edible!

Then we had our playtime on his woodland creature mat.

And we also did tummy time.

And I also massaged Max's colon.

And did bicycle legs.

And heard the rumblings of what could only mean one thing.

Poopapalooza 2014.

I knew I was in trouble when I unzipped his sleeper and saw this:

I believe that's a look of relief. You can see it in his rosy cheeks.

Poop in the front is NEVER a good sign.

Today will forever be known as the day I took a scissors and cut a onesie off of Max. It wasn't worth trying to save it.

I will spare the more graphic pictures (I had to document this epic poop since Mr. KK was conveniently at work. AGAIN.) but I think you get the idea.

The only way to get the poop out of his belly button (yep, belly button) was to toss him in the bath tub.

Between breakfast, tummy time, playtime and the poop of the century, Max was beat and fell into a deep sleep.

Which allowed me the opportunity to take Vito outside. 

So he could poop.

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