Dear Amazon Prime,

To me "guaranteed 2-day delivery" seems simple:

I order something, and in two days it arrives. I even pay extra for your Prime membership to make that happen.

So when we order something – oh, let's say a kegerator – for our picnic on Sunday, and we're told we're guaranteed to get it Saturday by 8pm, I kind of believe you.

Except you didn't deliver (literally, and figuratively).

Our friends at FedEx (who are actually doing the delivering of the package) have this to say:

Wednesday? That's sure a far cry from Saturday...

And, here it is Sunday morning, and you still have this to say to us:

Quite the discrepancy in delivery days. And with YOUR delivery day, we now have to travel back in time to get it (though we shouldn't, because as history will tell us, it's not going to be delivered on time. Fool me once and all that jazz…)

So while I appreciate the 2-Day Guaranteed shipping, Amazon, I appreciate it even more when it happens.

Amazon Prime, to quote my mother-in-law: "You STINK!"

Thirsty in CT,
kk