Thursday, November 5, 2015

Day 5: One year of parenting under our belts.

Well, we've parented #maxmars for a whole year, and he's thriving (have you seen his thighs???), so obviously we're parenting experts now, right??


I'm not even an expert at my own child. 

For example, yesterday I brought him favorite book – the one he giggles through and always wants me to read. He took it from me, gave me a look of disdain, then dismissively tossed it on the floor. I thought he loved that book. Shows you what I know.

But just because I'm not an expert doesn't mean I'm not going to share all of my parenting advice experience with you.

One Year In: Advice for Parents of Newborns

You're never really ready. Sure, you've bought a crib and you have one million onesies washed in Dreft and folded neatly in a drawer. But somehow that doesn't prepare you for the overwhelming panic you feel when the hospital puts that 2-day old helpless baby in your arms and sends you off into the world. 

Baby books, baby shmooks. You don't need them. Unlike your mother, you have Dr. Google at your fingertips, who will be both your best friend and your worst enemy.

• Your baby will have explosive poop at the worst possible moment. For me, it was in church, during his baptism, wearing a satin white outfit, while the priest was speaking. Twice.

• Don't set unrealistic milestone goals. No child has ever gone off to college without being able to hold his own bottle, lift his head, crawl, walk, talk, or use the toilet alone. It will happen when it's going to happen. Don't rush it.

• You should throw a big first birthday party. As a parent, it is your responsibility to make a big deal out of the first birthday (and let them eat cake!). After that, size doesn't matter.

• You will start to not care about things that you were once passionate about. It's inevitable. It's okay to let them go.  

• You will be vomited on. I was lucky – Max made it until 3 days before his first birthday before his first vomiting incident. But he did wait until I took him out of his car seat and was holding him before he let loose...three times.

• Don't sweat the small stuff. There's A LOT of small stuff. You will know when it's time to freak out (trust me, you'll just know in your gut). Otherwise, go with the flow...everything else is small potatoes.

• "Nap when they nap" is a myth. No mother does it. There's usually too much laundry, dinner-making, blog writing, errand running, etc to do.

Whatever your first year is like, it will be special and perfect. Enjoy every minute!

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