Sunday, November 29, 2015

One year in: soundbites in the KK household. (Day 29)

Last year I blogged about those conversations when you have a newborn, that if neighbors ever overheard you, they might question your sanity.

Well, here we are a year in, and the conversations haven't gotten any less crazy...or graphic.

Here is this year's list of things that could be overheard in the KK house – the 1-year old version:

"Do you want a flat nipple or a rounded one?" Oh, the nipple talk never ends. We now have two different types of nipples that we use: round for bottles and flat for sippy cups. No matter which one he has, Max gnaws, bites, tugs and pulls on it with his little baby razor teeth...making me VERY happy we use bottles (and not real nipples) to begin with.

"Can I still point it down when it's like...that?" Not having a wiener makes it difficult for me to know wiener boundaries, especially when said wiener is, er, at attention. Does it hurt him when I point Max Jr. south during a diaper change? Can he pee when he's like that, because that thing is pointing right at my eye? (This is all once I got past the fact that my baby might be secretly watching porn in his crib to end up like this.)

"Was it a sticky pancake?" No, we're not talking about a new breakfast craze. Once you have a kid, not a day goes by that you don't talk about poop. And you will have nicknames for the different kinds of poop that you encounter. And you'll know them by their smell. Bright side: solid-food poop is MUCH better than formula poop.

"Let me get up in there with my finger." I can officially add "booger retriever" to my resume. And I'm GOOD at my job. (Most booger retrievals are done while singing "Boogie Fever", FYI.)

Oh, the joys of parenthood!

No comments:

Post a Comment