Thursday, November 17, 2016

Day 17: Don't even THINK of bringing that food in my house...

...unless you're trying to get on my good side.

I love food.

And I love good food.

I plan vacations around how many meals I can work into the itinerary. I don't get to eat out as often as I used to, so when I do, I enjoy nicer restaurants.

Even if we're out at a party, or a restaurant, I'll have Mr. KK taste something first. 

"Is it worth my calories?" I'll ask him. Nine times out of ten, it isn't.

But there are a few foods, that aren't fancy or special, that break all food rules. Those foods that are so delicious to me, that I just.can't.stop.eating.them.

In no particular order:

1. Stew Leonard's chicken salad. There's a specialty grocery store in CT (and some areas of NY) that makes the most amazing chicken salad. What starts as a small schmear on a cracker, slowly turns into forkfuls until I'm scraping the sides of the empty container. It's shameful.

2. Doritos. We're talking good old classic Nacho Cheese here; none of that 'Jacked' or 'Taco' or 'Supreme' crap. (And don't even get me started on 'Cool Ranch'. It's like the New Coke of Doritos). I LOVE Doritos. And I eat them systematically: first, I find all the chips with the MOST cheddar dust on them and eat those first. Next, I will eat the ones that are full triangles (in descending order from most cheese to least cheese). Then, I will eat the non-triangle chips. Lastly, lick my fingers and press them into the crumbs to pick them up. The result may be orange fingers for 3 days, but it's SO worth it.

3. Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cookie Core Ice Cream. I'm not a sweets eater, but I LOVE ice cream. And this ice cream? It's like frozen crack. I discovered it this past summer on our beach vacation on a fluke. I bought the container to share with Mr. KK, however I'm pretty sure he didn't see more than 3 spoonfuls. If you haven't had this ice cream, you haven't had ice cream. It's THAT amazing.

4. Cape Cod White Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips. If I could marry Cape Cod potato chips, I would. I love potato chips. But not all potato chips. There are potato chip varieties that I don't love (I'm talking about you, greasy Lay's and weird Wise). But Cape Cod chips are the perfect mix of crunch and salt and flavor. I could eat them for every meal.

5. Cheese. There are few cheeses I've met that I don't like. Bring cheese to my house, and you get invited in. Bring one of these three and you get the good beer: Manchego, a nutty aged Gouda or Parmesan, and creamy brie (bonus points for triple heart attack cream).

There you have it. The foods that could cause my shame eating. Or hiding the empty containers at the bottom of the trash. Or permanent orange finger tips.

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