Saturday, November 15, 2014

Day 15: I'm feeling flush. (and we're halfway through the month, folks!)

I have an irrational fear of toilets.

To clarify, I'm not afraid to flush the toilet, I'm not scared of using the toilet, nor am I afraid to go to the bathroom outside of my own home.

My fear is more operational: I'm afraid of a toilet malfunctioning when I'm around.

Of all of the appliances in my home (including my bad-ass 8 burner propane stove), the toilet scares me the most.

Don't let toilets fool you; they have minds of their own.

I can't even begin to explain the panic I've experienced after I've flushed a toilet, and instead of the water going down, the flush fizzles out and all of a sudden the water starts to rise slowly. (NOTE: we are talking normal 'number 1' situations here, people. I'm not in the habit of clogging toilets, thank you very much).

The room gets hot, I start to sweat, and immediately I start to look for the little shut-off valve that's supposed to be my saving grace. But even if you do reach the valve in time, you still have a toilet that's filled with water. No bueno.

Cut to today, at a car dealership.

I had held on as long as I could, but I couldn't wait any longer…I had to pee. Badly.

So I went into the single person ladies' room and saw THIS:

The whole situation looked suspect.

So before I could even THINK about going, I did a test flush.

The toilet did a fake-out on me. I could feel the heat prickles on the back of my neck. 

The toilet pretended it was going to flush normally and I could go on my merry way of relief. HOWEVER, it stopped mid-flush and started swirling the other way and the water started to rise. Stranger toilet paper started making its way toward me.


So I did what any normal person would do.

I made a beeline out of the bathroom and pretended I didn't know anything.

BUT, we bought a car from them, so I think I more than made up for my behavior. :)

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