Our lives have changed – of course – and some of the more amusing changes are the conversations that go on in our house each day.
On his bedtime sleeper:
"Can you replace the battery? This poor kid has slept without his vibrator for the last week!"
On putting on Max's straight jacket each night:
"Do you think he can breath?"
"Since he's screaming, I'll go with yes."
"This little boy has more rolls than a bakery."
"Hey, I don't think he has bad breath because he doesn't have any teeth."
"Did he poop?"
"What color was his poop?"
"Why hasn't he pooped?"
"Do you think he's pooping now?"
"Is that his poop face?"
"What is that up his back? Ew. Poop."
On trying to take a holiday photo:
"He cried the whole time. I didn't get one good shot for Christmas."
"Maybe he doesn't like Jesus."
Once again, on feeding:
"Is this a new nipple or the old nipple?"
"How can you tell?"
"By the way he sucks on it. He likes the new one better."
On waking up at the wrong time:
"Max, go back to sleep. Wake up in 20 minutes after Mommy finishes her beer."